Privacy Policy

Who I am

I’m dat guy whut name’s on da page. It’s literally my website, as indicated by the URL. If you’re reading this it’s either because you know I’m going to be a smart-ass about it or you truly don’t understand how websites work and think you’re entitled to boss around the owner of a personal blog / profile site who might possibly glean a shred of personal data about you. Honestly, that’s pretty comical.

What personal data I collect and why I collect it

Contact forms

If you contact me, I’ll necessarily have your contact information. I trust this won’t offend you or freak you out. If you contact me to gripe at me then tell me not to contact you back, I’m going to contact you back to laugh at you and your expectations because that’s how life works. In short, if you don’t want me to have your contact info, don’t contact me.

Embedded content from other websites

Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website.

These websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website.

This really should be obvious to anyone who uses the Web.

Analytics

I use Google Analytics to satisfy my sense of vanity. So does everyone else. Really, is this surprising or escapable? No.

Who I share your data with

I may mention you by name. I may post screenshots of things you say or online, whether you sent them to me or not. Honestly, if you don’t want people to talk about you, why would you run it up a flagpole visible the world over?

How long I retain your data

However long it pleases me. It’s not like I have access to your financial or government identity data. You’ll be alright.

What rights you have over your data

You have the right to ask me politely to amend or remove it. If it’s public information that’s considered lawful for me to know / display in the United States, you probably have the right to try to sue me to have it removed, but you may then have the responsibility to pay court costs and lawyer fees if I haven’t violated US law (and believe me, I’ll pursue it if you try this). Consider whether or not this is worth it to you.

What data breach procedures I have in place

Mild embarrassment and severe annoyance. I’ll probably blog about it.