I thought I’d add to my growing body of strange phrases from my sleepy brain. This one happened a few weeks ago, but I hadn’t gotten around to writing about it yet. It’s also not so much a pre-sleep thought as a waking-up thought at the end of a dream (hypnopompic versus hypnagogic). I suppose the title should be “Random Post-Sleep Thought #1″ but shut up.
The background: I’ve been watching the new season of Nurse Jackie on Showtime. I suppose that’s to blame for the nurse-in-a-hospital-themed dreams I’ve been having lately. The intrepid nurse of my dream had just “inherited” the position of hospital director (don’t ask me how, I believe only doctors can hold that title but don’t quote me) because her mentor (the previous director) had just passed away.
As is usual in dreams, I knew her background automatically in the context of the dream. Just a few short years ago, she’d been burned out in her career and had been making poor choices. Essentially, she was on the path of self-destruction (much like Jackie). Then, the late director had taken her under his wing and gradually improved her, grooming her for the position. Though she had no idea she was being groomed for this position, nor that it had been “willed” to her (dream!), she was definitely up to the task, having grown as a person.
The only part of the dream I remember with clarity is some corny rock ballad you’d expect to be played for a character coming into their own. The words were interesting, though. The only part I could remember by the time I forced myself to wake up and write them down were the ones that haunted me. They were sung as if the late director were talking to her in a “just look at you now!” way. The line was:
Walkin round the waters of the Lake of the Used-to-be-You.
For some reason, that metaphor for triumphant introspection speaks to me deeply. I love the name “the Lake of the Used-to-be-You”. Lakes have long been a symbol for self-reflection. To “take a walk around the waters” suggests to me a deep introspection and (I suppose) looking back on one’s past.
I suppose this won’t mean the same to you as it does to me, but the words still move me a few weeks after I heard (thought) them.