Okay, enough is enough. Everywhere I read people discussing the iPhone 4 signal loss issue (by cradling the phone in the palm of the left hand), people imply it’s not objectively measurable, or it’s entirely nonexistent. It reminds me of the original MacBook Pro processor whine issue: “the only whine I hear is the people who think this is a real problem.” Right. We’re all morons.

Whiny

As I mentioned with the MacBook Pro issue, the whining issue turned out to be very real. There were various conditions under which it occurred for different users, but I was “lucky” enough to get one of the affected laptops. I found older people couldn’t hear the extremely high-pitched whine, yet it gave me a damned “sick-headache” from its persistence. I finally narrowed it down to a fairly specific cause. I’m not a radio / antenna / electronics expert, but something didn’t seem to be correctly grounded. If I laid my finger (not an inanimate object, not conductive metal, not a ferrite rod – nothing) on the right-hand side of the rubber inlay between the hinges on the “lid,” the whine immediately stopped. As soon as I removed my finger, the whine slowly returned. If I “gently tapped” that same spot out of frustration, it might stop for quite awhile before returning. The whining didn’t come from the speakers. It was strongest near the very spot I could touch to make it stop. This told me it was some kind of feedback, interference, or some damned problem with one or more specific electronic components.

Apple refused to acknowledge the problem. Reading the various forums revealed a plethora of fan boys and fan girls repeating the same uninspired joke again and again: “The only whine I hear is from you.” Well …

It’s not as if I work with technology every day, so you’re absolutely right. The sickening headache I developed every day from this one Apple product among many I owned or worked with is all in my head after all! Thank God for your unilateral diagnostic skills! A sample size of exactly one surely accounts for all!

Yeah, I had that laptop less than a year.

Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

Humans are salty and wet. We tend to interfere with electrons and even radio signals. Which is the problem here? Are we blocking the radio waves or shorting the thing electrically? I say the iPhone 4 problem definitely seems to be caused by bridging the very part of the phone likely to be wrapped in a nice, salty, meaty hand – I think it’s electrical.

I don’t accept Jobs’ bullshit “you’re holding it wrong” answer. Anyone who holds the phone on the left side of their head is going to cradle the phone with its lower-left corner tucked into the palm, just under the fleshy root of the thumb. How can you possibly defend a phone that can’t be gripped on one whole corner without dropping its signal?

To be clear: my phone doesn’t just lose signal strength when I grip it “the wrong way;” it completely drops the signal in about one second flat. In three, a call is dropped entirely. No data gets through while I’m holding it that way.

… and it’s not in my fucking head.

And Steve: I’m not made of money and I rely on my communication device to communicate, so it really is a pretty big godamned deal when it’s so easy to cause it to fail. Considering how vastly easier it is compared to any other phone I’ve owned since my first one in nineteen-ninety-fucking-seven, I’d say it’s quite a bit more than a non-issue.

There is definitely a problem. I’ll accept it doesn’t affect everybody, but if your position is, “it works for me, so you’re an idiot,” then I can’t respect you let alone your opinion. Sorry.

One explanation that makes a lot of sense is the possibility of the sim card contacting the metal sim tray (which contacts the metal frame). I can confirm my own sim card was cut so that all the gold contacts along one edge come into direct contact with the metal sim tray. It was definitely shaved too close (much like a fingernail cut too far back, its nerves screaming at contact with anything, even air). My own 5-minute experiment with electrical tape failed because the thickness of the tape prevented the card from seating correctly. I may have to try again.

The one thing that makes me doubt this proposed solution is that the sim tray slides into the opposite side of the phone – the one that isn’t bridged by holding it “the wrong way.” This observation would seem to shoot holes in the running theory of interference by sim shortage.

What makes me so sure it’s some sort of short circuit is that today my phone failed me (signal-wise) for more than an hour. I was very sweaty, so even though I was avoiding holding it “the wrong way,” it still refused to transfer data or keep a stable call. Guess what happened when I wiped it down with a damp, then a dry cloth? Like magic, it was stable again. Perfectly. Instantly. Magic!

I’m Not a God Damned Idiot

So I’ll wrap this up by making this emphatic statement: the iPhone 4 most definitely has antenna issues for some users. My own completely drops the otherwise full signal on contact in multiple areas that all had strong signals for my 3GS and are far apart from one-another. I love the iPhone 4, but, being my only phone, this is quickly becoming a major issue for me.

 

I think Jitterbug (the cell phone and operator service aimed at the elderly) should expand and offer navigational services.

The Jitterbug

For those who haven’t heard the wonderful news, Jitterbug provides simple phones and live operator services and caters to the elderly. The biggest feature seems to be the ability to call the operator and have them operate the phone.

Jitterbug phones have large displays and keypads, as well as loud speakers. The services comes with what can only be described as “old-school” operators, who can add contacts to customers’ address books, add appointments to your calendar, and even take dictation of a text message.

Why, Back in My Day …

Jitterbug’s success undoubtedly comes mainly from the operator service, which reminds an older generation of simpler times. Once upon a time, you could “ring Jenny the Switchboard Operator” to have her connect calls for you. You might even get to know Jenny and have a brief chat with her before she connected you to “Klondike 529.”

Still Relevant

The Jitterbug goes beyond this, though. Now that wonderful young lady Jenny can take dictation for you and send it as a text. Never before has it been so easy to send, “Happy Birthday, Grandson, LOLZ” to your grandson via a communications channel he actually uses!

New Feature

I propose a new feature: Navigational Services. Wouldn’t it be the bees knees if Jenny could give you directions like all those new-fangled iTelephones and Robot Phones? And how!

Let’s listen in on Ethel as she calls Jenny for directions on her Jitterbug.

Ethel [ takes twenty or so seconds to open the phone and press zero because she's always looking for the hand crank ]

Jenny: “Operator speaking.”

Ethel: “Jenny? Ethel here, how are you?”

Jenny: “Why, I’m just wonderful, Ethel! How’s your grandson? Did he enjoy the pegboard you got him for his birthday?”

Ethel: “Oh, he loves it! Thanks for asking? How’s Fred?”

… [ 5 or 10 minutes go by in this way ] …

Ethel: “Say Jenny, I’m looking for that new Buttons! Buttons! Buttons! store the girls have been talking about. Would you know where that is?”

Jenny [ chuckling knowingly ]: “I wondered when you’d get around to looking into that place. I can give you directions.”

Ethel: “Oh, that would be wonderful!”

Jenny: “Certainly. You go out to the old Harker place and take a left past where the old fruit stand used to be.”

Ethel: “The one old Farmer Harker’s grandson ran before he retired?”

Jenny: “That very one. Follow that into town. Then, at the corner of Elm and Second – where you used to buy a whole bag of penny whistles for a nickel – and head toward the old soda parlor where you met Jeb Jenkins and slapped him for looking at your ankles when your slip rode up a bit.”

Ethel: “Mmm hmm.”

Jenny: “After that, you’ll turn right at the corner where you and Mabel used to wait for the trolly. Turn left into the parking lot of that newfangled mall that used to be Old Man Savage’s mill.”

Ethel: “Oh! I met my late husband, Mr. Carmichael there for our first date!”

… [ and so on ] …

Now I’m sure you can see the benefits. Following the success of deploying such a feature, Jitterbug could expand their operator services and offer Internet surfing. Why get one of those confusing computers when you could have Jenny take care of all of that stuff?

I think we would all be wise to invest in Jitterbug. They’re going places … slowly … with their blinker on …

 

Mikkel Svane ( @mikkelsvane ), CEO of Zendesk, made what must have been quite a difficult apology for the price increase fiasco two days ago. What are my thoughts? Well, I’m not quite sure.

When this all started, I raised a few points about trust. I stand by those points firmly. I wasn’t angry at the price increase itself. Here were my complaints:

  • The disproportionate amount of increase
  • The unrealistic value placed on features (like forums) that are not optional and that free, open-source does better
  • The inarguable abuse of the term “grandfathering”
  • The data lock-in for cheaper plans
  • The substantial disparity in pricing, compared with competitors with similar or superior offerings
  • The poorly-phrased responses from Svane on Twitter and in Zendesk’s forums

All of this amounted to a breach of trust in the company. Their actions belied the corporate image they’ve worked so hard to put forth. In short, it was a grievous error in judgment.

Then, two days and a few hours after the whole thing started, Svane posted an apology titled, “Sorry. We messed up.

I would be a hypocrite if that’s all it would take to make everything okay again. Have Svane and his investors learned their lesson? By lesson, I don’t mean, “the social web can fuck you up as easily as it can help you,” as it’s obvious they have. Rather, the lesson to which I’m referring is, “if we say we’re good guys, we can’t make a douche bag move.”

I honestly don’t know the answer to that. The real question is, “will I stay or will I go?” For now I don’t know. I’m undecided. I need to know I can trust Zendesk not to decide to hold my data prisoner and jack up their prices again. Their promise to “grandfather” existing customers in (the proper use of the term) isn’t in any contract. It’s their word, which has been tarnished recently.

Plenty have praised Svane’s apology – I’m one of them – but that doesn’t mean all is now well. So, stay or go? I’ll let you know. I’m sure I’m not the only one debating this, either.

 

Awhile back, I wrote about the SaaS help desk company Zendesk and their “crazy girlfriend sales tactics.” Not only was the article a hit, but it prompted a very good response from Zendesk itself. As a result, I posted a fair-is-fair retraction and basically endorsed the company. Now it looks like I have to post a retraction.

Gone is my playful attitude. Gone are my good feelings about what could’ve remained a great “business companion”. What did I like and what went so suddenly and terribly wrong? Glad you asked.

The Good

Zendesk is quite good, despite a few limitations. It’s simple and straightforward. I speak only about the ticket tracking aspect as that is all I need. The web interface is pleasingly simple and the system itself is reasonably fast. The technical support (and even general PR responses) have been beyond stellar.

The Bad

The UI still needs some work. Zendesk mentions iPhone (and by extension, iPad) compatibility and that’s largely true. However, like a Flash-based solution, Zendesk uses some mouse-over UI actions (such as hovering to preview a ticket, menu access, etc.) which provides for an awkward user experience on a touch-based device that has no concept of “hover” or “mouse-over”.

As I painstakingly detailed, Zendesk had some problems with how it approached the conversion of trial customers to paying customers. I damn near told them to fuck off on that alone. As I just mentioned above, however, their response to this made up for the annoyance.

The Ugly

On May 18th, 2010, Zendesk announced (in a very complicated set of pages and an e-mail) their pricing would change. The customer responses in the comments of one such page weren’t just a groaning over a minor increase, they painted a picture of outrage, disgust, and (above all else) level-headed descriptions of how they might be able to justify a 10-15% inrease in the current economic downturn, but certainly not what can be up to a 300% increase in cost. Some even suggest reasonable pricing or an a la carté pricing scheme. See “What People Are Saying” below for a sampling of these comments.

What’s so wrong? There’s not too much added – certainly not enough to justify what can be up to a 300% price increase.

Zendesk offered a “grandfather” plan for existing customers at quarterly and yearly intervals. Unfortunately, this up-front payment only extends the current pricing for the duration of your pre-paid term. After that, even existing customers will have to pay the New and Improved Price.

On top of the massive increase in cost, the unpredictability of the cost of the service is not easily dismissed for any reasonable business owner or CTO. While the “Starter” plan they will offer still remains cheap – and, to be fair, still gives me what I need – there’s no guarantee they won’t pull the same dramatic increase stunt they did with their other plans.

Couple this unpredictability with their removing technical support (“community support” is “no support from us”, guys, let’s be real) and the ability to export your data from the Starter plan and the prospect of remaining a customer of theirs would be borderline stupidity.

What People Are Saying

The following comments were pulled from the page mentioned above in case they “disappeared”.

More than double what we’re paying or lose email support? Yeah, no thanks. We’ll begin the process of moving away from Zendesk today.

Please tell me there’s a typo somewhere here. My annual fee for Zendesk is going from $2124 to $4956?! I used “cost savings” as justification for moving to Zendesk with my upper management. That just went out the door.

I wish I could increase my prices 300% but I would have a mass exodus from my product! I think ZenDesk may have just made a huge mistake and I am sure many of their clients feel they are held hostage!

Why not just charge on an À la carte basis for new features that only a subsection of users will even be interested in?

One question for the Zendesk CEO or CFO – would you use a company who didn’t have a stable price plan you could predict, with price increases in line with RPI?

I’m just trying to wait it out before I have to break the news to my boss. All of our departmental spending is being scrutinized, and I don’t know that this increase will make it past Finance.

The fact that I have to even spend time think about this now after spending precious time integrating ZenDesk and educating staff makes me even more angry at ZenDesk. Booooh! ZenDesk, Booooh!

A reasonable increase in price for a additional in features is certainly to be understood or even expected. More than doubling the price I pay currently pay is not reasonable by any definition. As many others have pointed out, the ‘grandfather’ clause is merely a stay of execution.

If a business has no reasonable expectation or ability to forecast costs, a premises based solution will be the only way to go. Especially when you consider the fact that all our historical customer project data is housed with Zendesk and that their cancellation page says that it will all be deleted immediately and permanently upon cancellation.

…when using SaaS services, you expect stability and fair pricing. This is extortion and we WILL cancel our service and move elsewhere if required.

Come on be serious, this is extortionate.

I’m sorry Zendesk, but this is not how to treat your customers. A 10% increase or something would have been ok and I guess no one would be complaining. But this is really too much.

… and it goes on. Techcrunch also posted an article.

Conclusion

Zendesk has shown a lack of respect for its customers and their budgets. Some speculate they’ve planned to gain x number of customers, have the high-end customers invest hours and money in customizing and integrating the system, increase the price (and drop “low-end” customers) and show an overall increase in profits. I have to say that’s not a bad theory at all. I think I share it.

As I explained to “Olivia” (as I called her in previous posts), I feel threatened by this as a business owner. My information may no longer be mine to take with me if I decide to leave. I may have to face similar decisions even with the minimum plan if Zendesk suddenly decides their minimum pricing should be equally outrageous and they should even it out.

The bottom line is, I’m afraid I can’t endorse Zendesk any longer. Lack of predictability, no official support at an affordable price plan, and information lock-in add up to a big steaming pile of shit for $30/month. I’ll pass, thanks. Had I known then what I know now, I would never have signed up.

Update (May 20)

This has unfolded into an outright saga. CEO Mikkel Svane had some things to say on Twitter that didn’t exactly smooth things over:

I hope all the new sexy Zendesk features don’t drown in today’s noise.

Leaving office with headache. Not happy about pricing reactions. Less happy that it overshadows what an awesome system Zendesk has become.

While the second comment drew some fire (“the headache is of your own making” and similar sentiments), it was the first comment that really riled up Zendesk’s customers. Many were none too happy at their valid and reasonable complaints (many of which agree on a better approach at tiered pricing – more on that in a moment) having been blithely dismissed as “noise.” Some on Twitter have repeated, more or less, the same idea: “How Not to Treat Your Customers” or “How Not to Roll Out Price Increases.” Even Zendesk competitors are weighing in, offering price-matching and rate lock-in.

Of the many voices expressing outrage (and the few churlish pokes), a growing number of users actually suggested what I feel is a fair compromise. They would accept a fairly substantial price increase in return for tiered pricing. That is, the “exciting new features” (such as a basic implementation of forum software, which users point out is not as feature-rich as the many free, open-source alternatives available today) should be optional, as should the knowledge base features. The more services you use, the higher the pricing. Some even suggested they’d pay more for heavier volume.

I propose a mix of both. I personally only need the ticket tracking portion. For up to two people. For not too many tickets per month. I’d rather pay only for that, and if I decide later I need other features or if I suddenly start processing hundreds of tickets a month, I would expect to pay more.

For now, it looks like the company is in damage control mode (taking surveys, saying little). I now have a strong feeling the shareholders are behind this decision (‘pump-n-dump’ perhaps, or just outright cluelessness). True or not, I think there’s a whole lot of reconsideration going on right now. Either way, my faith in Zendesk has been severely shaken. I’m still planning to move to another service (and to take advantage of the sudden flurry of competition).

 

Last week, I posted my e-mail response to the Zendesk representative I dubbed “Heidi” (obviously not her real name), wherein I compared her to a crazy ex-girlfriend, bent on constant reassuring contact. Zendesk got around to responding to that sentiment directly. Fair is fair, so I’m posting the rest of the conversation, which turned out rather positive. Second impressions can still make a difference, it seems.

Although my smart-ass reply was intended to provide laughs as much as to make my point about the fanatical contact, I made no attempt to hide the fact I was writing out of annoyance. Further, I made it clear I initially had no intention of replying unless I actually needed their help during my one-month trial (now just over a week old).

The Saga Continues

Not long after sending that e-mail (that evening in my time zone), I got a reply not from “Heidi”, but from “Bob” (as we’ll call him).

For reference, here is the original post containing the e-mail I sent in response to the two e-mails and a phone call just days after starting my trial.

Here was Bob’s reply:

Hi Joshua

Thanks for your email.

Ill pass on your feedback. It’s important for us to hear your thoughts and we appreciate your time.

Groan! Not only was it weighing in light on the give-a-damn-o-meter, but it looked like they used one of their own Macro responses.

Here’s my response:

Aw, come on! That long, heartfelt email and that’s all I get in response? Lame … ;-)

To be honest, Bob’s response looked exactly like the “Kindly fuck off and have a nice day” kind of responses I expect when I run my mouth to a company. I was wrong. Fast-forward two bottles of wine (between two people – shut up) and a day later. In an unprecedented act of bonafide give-a-damn, I received this from … aw, hell, let’s call this one “Olivia”:

Hi Joshua,

Where to begin … First, please don’t take our delayed response as an indication that we’ve been ignoring you. In fact everyone at Zendesk involved in connecting with customers on the phone or through email has thought about you several if not many times today.

Second, we weren’t sure how to reach out to you – how you wanted to be spoken to. Since you responded to the email below, we’re hoping this is the way that you wanted to hear from us.

Now, the most important thing that we want to say: we apologize for annoying you. We apologize for scaring you!

I’m happy to share with you why we screwed up but I’m pretty certain that’s not important to you. What’s important to us is that you have impacted how we do business. We’ve dialed back and taken time to correct very important things that were out of whack. What Bob said below wasn’t a pat response. But he should have put some effort into acknowledging the fact that we screwed up and that you had taken significant time to point this out to us in a colorful (hope that’s the right word) and creative way. And most importantly, he didn’t apologize. Please accept our apology and know that we don’t want to be a crazy girlfriend. We want to be sound, thoughtful, reliable and responsive.

You gave us a very measured response. Thank you for that. You’re a great writer. I hope you’ll stick with us and continue to write to us. You’re feedback is on target and we’d like to hear your thoughts about all areas of our service, or as many areas as you choose to comment on.

Again, we’re sorry for the lousy communication. Please let us know if there’s anything else we can for you.

Best regards,

Olivia

I’m an Ass

I might as well say it: my first response was to laugh my ass off. Not a cruel laugh, you see, but a surprised (and mildly delighted) laugh. A gleeful chortle, if you will. I was not expecting this kind of response at all. In fact, I wouldn’t have been too surprised if they’d “fired me” as a customer or asked me not to contact Heidi or Bob again.

Then, yesterday, I re-read the response. I was in a completely different mood, having just woken up from a nice long weekend sleep-in. I felt this odd sensation to which I’m not very accustomed. The damndest thing. I felt … bad. Yes, that’s it. I felt bad.

Now Matt tells me I shouldn’t. He believes it was a very positive outcome, but I still felt pangs of that unpleasent sensation known as “feeling bad” about one’s actions. Nasty stuff, that. All I know is Heidi hasn’t written me back (or called) once (or twice).

The Josh Problem

Okay, I’m used to entire offices discussing the “Josh Problem”. I’m an ass. Not necessarily an asshole. Just an overall ass. I speak my mind. I say what others are only thinking. I make light of serious situations even if I’m the one who’s on the hot seat.

Note: Prospective employers, please ignore that last comment. Current employers … meh, all that “consummate professional” shit was just pillow talk, baby. You knew what this was.

Emergency Meetings in the Situation Room

So, from Olivia’s response, I can only conclude that an emergency meeting had been called in the high-tech Zendesk situation room … my photo on the central screen, my blog post and e-mail spread out on their Microsoft Surface table, Heidi in a holding cell, un-showered and hungry, stripped of her black spandex tactical unitard, Bob in the next, weeping over getting himself involved.

Okay, so it probably didn’t go quite like that. Heidi was likely executed and I feel just awful about it. My intention was to be humorous, not a dick. So wherever you are, Heidi, I apologize. As I get older, I keep trying to find better ways to deal with life’s frustrations. I find humor is much better than frothing heat-of-the-moment phone calls, but it can have a bite to it nonetheless.

In any case, I’m glad they recognize how incredibly important I am and held an emergency meeting in their situation room. I worry over which picture of me they used, but that’s a minor thing, really. The important thing is, they reached out to apologize and took their power to annoy seriously. For that I’m thankful. It has definitely improved my opinion of Zendesk’s sales tactics (or at least their ability to apologize for said tactics).

Silver Lining

Now it’s important to mention that toward the beginning of all of this, I had been in contact with their support team over a macro that broke as soon as I created it. It wouldn’t even let me delete it. It took them a few days to try to figure out what went wrong before they had it fixed but it wasn’t a show-stopper for me by any means, so it didn’t bother me (well, it bothered my OCD to see it there without the ability to clean it up, but whatever). When I asked what it was (I thought their app might not have escaped a slash I put in the name or something like that), the tech responded with a link to a documented Ruby issue. Cool. Thanks. That impresses me. I know slightly more than shit about Ruby or Rails, but not much more, however the ability and willingness to share the technical details with me is definitely something I consider “good will”.

So I didn’t mean to imply it was all bad. In fact, I’m pretty sure I communicated effectively that I didn’t think that was the case.

The Make-Up Kiss

Here’s my response to Olivia:

Olivia:

I don’t really work on the weekends, so I actually wasn’t expecting any kind of response until today. I’m also aware I’m not the only person in the world, so no harm done there.

On one hand, I was amused to hear about the impact my e-mail had. On the other, I was surprised to get any kind of real response, other than “we’ve removed you from our contact list”. On a third hand, if I had one, I had started to feel kind of bad since I didn’t hear back from Heidi at all. Are she and Bob alright? If not, I trust it was quick and they didn’t suffer. ;-)

I accept your apology of course, but I’m not sure it was necessary. I did kind of poke you guys in the ribs a few times (with a large pole). Some would label me an ass for not just saying, “no further contact, thanks” but imagine what they’d say had I immediately returned Heidi’s phone call in the mood I was in. It was better to wait for later and I’m glad I did. That’s when the “crazy girlfriend like Betsie” idea hit me and I immediately found the situation funny. Once that occurred to me, I knew just how to handle it.

That was a true story, by the way. Betsie really was quite nuts.

At any rate, I detailed the ordeal on my blog (because I knew my friends and family would find it “très Josh”) so it’s only fair I laude Zendesk’s followup (and of course sensationalize that too).

It should be posted shortly, but I wanted to respond to you beforehand for two reasons. First, it’s just the right thing to do, and second, because I wanted to post my response to you as well.

So: thanks for following up and thanks for rethinking the frequency and nature of contact … and yes, “colorful” is a good word. :-)

Regards,

– Josh

I felt it was only right to explain my position a bit just in case there were any hard feelings. So overall, I have good feelings about the folks at Zendesk. I hope they feel the same about me (Heidi? Bob? We cool?).

Maybe I’ll e-mail, call, then e-mail again once in awhile to see if they still love me. ;-)


Update: Oh man. I knew they killed them!

 

I’ve noticed a much better battery life with my iPhone since getting my iPad. Seems it’s completely changed my iPhone usage patterns.

For one thing, I often reached over to the stand on which my iPhone rests for quick things like checking an incoming email. Even with my laptop right in front of me, it was just quicker to grab the phone. I’m not doing that at all anymore. 

Another thing is wireless usage. When a WiFi network is available, I tend to have and be using the iPad anyway. Where WiFi networks aren’t, I usually don’t have the iPad with me and the iPhone’s 3G connectivity is the default. In response, I’ve turned off the iPhone’s WiFi radio. This did even more to improve my phone’s battery life, returning it to what I once enjoyed with my not-so-smart phones.

I’m definitely not regretting getting my iPad, that’s for sure.

 

At the very end of last week, I started a one-month free trial with Zendesk, a web-based help desk a la FogBugz. I chose it for its simplicity and am so far happy with the system itself, even with a minor technical hiccup. It’s the crazy-girlfriend-like sales tactics that bug me a little (a lot).

I started the trial five days ago. Within a day or so, Heidi (we’ll call her) e-mailed me asking me how things were going. I honestly couldn’t answer – I’d only used it for a grand total of twenty minutes or so, spread out over a one-to-two-day period. I also wasn’t interested in conversing at the moment, so I ignored the e-mail.

In an all-too-frequent moment of customer service prescience, I was concerned that I’d be hounded, so I was happy to see an “opt out of further communications” link at the bottom of her e-mail. I clicked it and opted out, then deleted the message.

Yesterday – four days after starting my one month trial – I received a phone call from an unidentified number. I always screen unknown numbers, so I waited for the voice mail notification and listened. Who was it but Heidi, explaining she tried e-mailing me but hadn’t heard back. She reiterated her desire to know how I liked Zendesk.

As I’m listening to this voice mail with a mild bit of annoyance, I get an e-mail. From Heidi. She wanted to make sure I got her e-mail and voice mail … and wanted to know how I liked Zendesk.

Now, if you don’t know me well, it may shock you to hear I become annoyed easily and am quite vocal about it. I had to resist the urge to call her back and bitch her out for the incessant intrusion. She reminded me of a crazy ex-girlfriend I had in junior high school … when I had girlfriends.

Then I had another idea. Rather than lash out when asked what I thought, I related a relevant story. Here’s what I ended up sending Heidi (modified somewhat for clarity).

Heidi:

I’ll tell you my first impressions but I want you to think about it from my perspective as you read. But first, a tale of young love.

When I was in junior high school, I did the unthinkable: I got myself a girlfriend. Well, really, the girlfriend got me. We’ll call her Betsie. “Will you go with me?” Betsie asked, using the common phrase (at least in my part of the world). Oh, if only I had said no …

You see, Betsie was known to be “out there”. Didn’t bother me at the time; I like “out there”. She wrote me three notes a day. Long ones. Every evening she would keep me on the phone for hours. Being the typical teenage boy, I found this a bit excessive, but I did my best to keep up with the sheer volume. It was normal, right? To my credit, this went on for three weeks – practically a lifetime for a young romance. Several times, though, I’d have a bad day and just be content to talk a bit. Of course I would try to tell her this, but to Betsie, it was always taken as a prelude to a breakup.

At first, I would tell her I still loved her and nothing was wrong; I was just having a bad day. After awhile, the little things I did or didn’t do would trigger this insecurity. I began to feel like a captive, a slave to reply note writing, return phone calls, and constant reassurances.

Then it happened. When she asked me if I was going to break up with her for the 5143746253745th time, I hesitated. After all, by this time her fear was becoming a self-fulfilling prophesy. It was only the briefest of hesitations but it was enough for Betsie.

Her tone changed immediately. Suddenly she was deathly serious. Despite this she managed to make it sound almost nonchalant – perhaps it was her sigh – when she said, “I think if you would ever break up with me I’d kill myself.”

Wait, what?

I was thirteen … what would I do? Tell my parents? Tell hers? Yeah, right: “I made my girlfriend/your daughter want to kill herself. Thought you should know.” So I did the only thing sensible to a teenage boy: I kept it to myself.

This went on for awhile (a few days) until I finally realized she was doing it for attention. More to the point, she was doing it in a desparate attempt to keep her boyfriend. Ultimately I broke up with her. She’s still alive and well and now married to a man I must assume enjoys her quirks. She even invited me to her wedding a few years ago. I politely made an excuse and declined.

My point?

Nothing makes people want to break up more than an insane girlfriend/boyfriend.

I just started using Zendesk at the end of last week. I ignored your email partly because I had no opinion yet and partly because – and please don’t take this the wrong way – I just want to use the application and would like you guys to stay the hell out of my way unless I need you.

Like Betsie, however, you emailed, then you called (!!!), then emailed immediately thereafter to make sure I got your voice mail. All in less than a week of my starting the trial. That’s a bit … much.

So, there you have it: The jury is still out on Zendesk as a product, but I have to say, the insistent, voluminous “do-you-love-me?!?!” notes and calls are scaring me little. Especially after I opted out of your first email.

Simply put: Could you dial it back, please? :-)

Now I’ll say I’m pretty sure I’ll convert to a paid account and stick with Zendesk. Unless something drastic happens to piss me off, I have no real complaints. It’s reasonably quick for a Ruby on Rails web app and it has the features I need without all the “our-way-or-no-way” required fields that annoyed me about FogBugz.

Rest assured, however, if they keep nagging me to tell them I love them, I’ll drop them like a Betsie.


Update: The saga continues here: Zendesk Second Impressions

 

I gave Mozy’s online backup service a try. This is partially due to my effort to unburden myself as mentioned in my “Real Work” post. Two days after signing up, I was given a refund for my year of prepaid service (minus 10% “credit card processing fee”). What went wrong?

PLEASE NOTE: I am not associated with Mozy. If you contact me to ask for a telephone number or for help using their product I will mock you viciously.

First, let me give you the background. My home server is a semi-retired original Mac Mini. It’s a G4 with 1 GB of RAM, and a 40GB internal drive. Attached via USB is a RAID device I use for my shared mass storage. About 30-40GB of the data on that drive is things like digitized home movies, photos, etc. – things I really don’t want to lose if my house goes up in flames. I keep a full backup of everything important on a hard drive stored in my fireproof safe, but I have to manually connect it and mirror everything over periodically. This is becoming a bit too burdensome and I sometimes forget.

Enter my desire for online backup. I want everything to run from the server (it’s the only device I want running 24/7 because it consumes very little power and can be tied up without impacting anything I do). Because the server is a G4 machine, my options are limited; most of the Mac-compatible services require an Intel Mac. I can’t understand the reason for this, when it’s relatively simple to flip a switch in Xcode and make the app a universal binary. I can’t think of a single thing these backup services do that would prevent a universal binary to include PowerPC architecture. I digress.

Mozy looked to be the only reasonably-priced solution (in terms of storage) that I could run from my server. I immediately signed up and prepaid for a year. I installed their client and began setting up my backup sets.

The Mozy Home Client’s User Interface

The first thing I noticed was Mozy’s UI. It’s divided into two components: the MozyHome app and the status bar item (from which you can request a backup to start, open the backup status window, or launch MozyHome).

The status window’s “time left” seems to live very much in the moment. Instead of averaging its completion time estimate over a window of time, its estimate jumps around wildly as slowdowns and interruptions occur. This happens far too often to give you any real sense of how long a backup will take to complete.

The MozyHome application is where you configure your backup sets. It is, in a word, confusing. In another word, it’s minimal. Each “set” is either an inclusion or exclusion list. You choose a folder or individual file. Subfolders are included automatically. Traditional backup systems show you a file structure tree with checkboxes that allow you to define sets or subsets of data in the tree (even a partial subset if a subfolder or two are unchecked). This “tradition” makes it far easier to specify files to back up and what among that set to exclude (like that “Tennis Rackets, Midgets, & Car Batteries” porn folder you’d rather not have transmitted anywhere).

Instead, Mozy forces you to create a different backup set wherein you check a box designating it an “exclusion” list. You then add that troublesome “Tennis Rackets, Midgets, & Car Batteries” folder. Two separate “sets” for the same “Home Movies” folder? Come on. That kind of usability bullshit is for Windows. Not surprising, given Mozy added Mac support after they launched. It’s clearly an afterthought, and I’ll give you another reason why in a moment.

Behavioral Problems

Mozy has a list of behavioral problems.

Security

First and foremost in my list of complaints is Mozy’s apparent cluelessness about security. The Mozy daemon, which sits in the background watching and syncing changes with the backup service, is set up to be run as the root user, in the “wheel” group. This root/wheel configuration presumably allows it to get to any files you want to be backed up. This is just asking for trouble (I’ll not bore you with a list of possible scenarios). In my opinion it’s a demonstration of security cluelessness.

Mozy could effectively provide their core service with just a bit more installation effort. Namely, they could create a “mozy” user account on the user’s machine and prompt the user for an admin password when Mozy sees that it needs access to read a backup set when the set is created. Run the daemon under this user account (not root) and it’s a lot safer. I did this very thing. I created a user account for it and edited its /Library/LaunchDaemons plist file. I then gave it read access to my storage drive. It saw the files just fine. Unencrypted user home folders? Do the same – grant Mozy read access to those users’ folders. Works fine.

I have to assume part of the root/wheel issue is to allow access to back up system files. This in itself makes no real sense, however, given a user wouldn’t be able to restore their system from a cold start unless they first installed OS X, then Mozy, then restored system files. I just don’t think that’s a reasonable use. Mozy should focus on user data and user data does not require root access to back up. I’ll say it again: cluelessness.

Speed

Mozy’s servers are slow. I mean “christ-on-a-crutch-I’ll-be-eighty-by-the-time-this-100MB-file-is-backed-up” slow. Occasionally, I’m able to make full use of my upload speeds with Comcast (which isn’t saying much, but let’s focus on Mozy for now). Three independent speed tests during the often sub-Mbps transfer rates showed it wasn’t the ISP. Mozy’s pipes are just not up to the task, in my opinion. It gets much worse during the late evening hours. This causes timeouts and eventually complete failure of a backup attempt. That brings me to Mozy’s lack of error recovery.

Error Recovery

Normally, when trying to upload something important, a system will just keep trying (preferably at sane intervals) until the user decides to click the cancel button. Not Mozy. No, according to its logs, after 15 failed attempts to upload a given file (which are apparently tried as quickly after the last failure as the computer can do it), Mozy gives up trying. I mean it really gives up trying. It completely stops the backup. Given an initial backup can take days (it kept saying nearly two weeks for mine), this seems like a completely artificial and unnecessary limitation.

This is the serious kind of limitation. The kind that makes it impossible for all but Grandma (with her 100 or so heavily-compressed thumbnails because she doesn’t quite know how to curate her digital photos) to make any serious backups. I personally never got past about 7% before the backup failed due to this retry limit being exceeded when their servers got busier and busier before being choked out entirely (you could see the rate falling and falling until it hit the “frantically retry then die” logic). Not a single successful backup of the stuff I needed to back up. Only small test sets with small files made it and those took for-goddamned-ever.

Several very minor changes would make Mozy far more reliable, making its slowness a mere inconvenience rather than a death sentence for your backup attempts.

First, remove the hard limit on retries. Its very existence in a backup client is idiotic. I want my files to be backed up and you’ll damn well keep trying until I tell you to stop. No excuses. It’s what I’m paying you for.

Second, stop trying so rapidly. Even if there were a higher limit, you’d eventually blow your wad during any extended outage. How about a throttled retry rate? When it fails the first time, try a second later. If it fails then, try ten seconds later. If it fails after that, try a half-minute later. Then a minute later and so on until you reach a sane ceiling of a wait limit (say 5-10 minutes). That should strike a nice balance between recovering quickly from a brief outage and not choking the connection trying to reach a server that’s going to be down for a few hours.

Third, if there’s some sort of problem, how about an unobtrusive notification? A little “warning” symbol on the status icon showing an issue was encountered would go a long way. For example, it could warn of an ongoing outage that went on longer than some threshold span of time.

Service with a Smile

After bending over backwards to redeem Mozy (because I really wanted for it to work), I decided to cancel and seek alternatives (more on what I chose in a moment). I asked for a full refund, given their service failed me completely (again, in 48 hours, it did not manage to successfully back up a single useful thing – only small tests).

A day later, I received an e-mail stating about $49 out of my $55 (prepaid for the year) had been refunded. I reminded them I asked for a full refund, given their failure. I also rather unabashedly asked them why they felt they deserved to keep any of my money after failing so completely. The response was they have a 10% credit processing fee for returns.

Nice.

Now, even for a small credit card point of sale system, the fees are not 10%. This is just Mozy’s way of keeping some part of your money. Just call it what it is, Mozy: a Fuck You Fee.

Even eSellerate, who processes my business’s sales, eats the credit processing fees. When one of my customers wants a refund for whatever reason, they get 100% of their money back. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Mozy, however, apparently would.

Dicks.

Alternative

The only alternatives left to me were a bit expensive per Gigabyte. So it seemed. I’d completely ignored Amazon S3 as it seemed to be extreme overkill. I also admit I didn’t like the idea of being charged for transfers or even listing the files in my “bucket”.

With few reasonably affordable alternatives remaining, I took a hard look at how much I’d actually transfer, how much I really needed to have off-site, and picked a “grow into” storage size. As it turns out, with heavy usage and more space than I need, it comes out to only twice Mozy’s monthly price: about US $10 per month for 60 GB of storage and 2 GB of uploads and downloads. Those up/down transfer amounts per month are strikingly higher than I believe I’d need. Add to that the fact Amazon is not charging for uploads until June, 2010, my initial backup will cost me nothing. Only the storage space I use. This made it very attractive.

How did I do it? Well, I’m still doing it. My full backup is done. As in, 16 hours and it’s done. Two weeks, Mozy? Really?

I used Panic’s Transmit (I own a copy) since it added S3 support. To save on transfer fees, however, I’ll need some rsync-like magic (the kind Mozy and other backup services offer, making it necessary to upload only the parts of the files that actually changed since the last backup). It turns out there’s an rsync-like ruby script specifically for S3 called s3sync.rb that can be run in the background as a cron job. Excellent! I haven’t set it up yet, so I can’t comment on it, but it’s promising and may meet all my needs.

I may post on the subject later, but I wanted to get this Mozy review out ASAP, as others have been asking me about my experience on Twitter or by e-mail. They were doing it because I was admittedly bitching quite loudly about the experience in realtime. I hope you find this useful, cursing and all.

Update

Some things have happened since I wrote this.

The Client

I now use Arq and it works wonderfully. I can throttle the transfer rate, schedule backups, set an S3 service budget (older backups are “pruned” to keep your storage under your defined cost limit), etc. The only thing is, for multi-user backup, you still have to understand and assign proper user permissions (or store everything you want backed up in some openly-accessible folder or volume – not an option for a responsible business owner… or an avid porn collector). I’ve settled into a stable and predictable data growth rate (and monthly transfer rate). Even backing up more liberally, I’m only spending $10/month total and won’t tip to $11 for probably another six months or so. Remember: I’ve got home movies, photos, music, etc. and gigabytes of business data (including source code, sales records, gigantic Adobe Illustrator ad files, etc.).

The Refund

On the 16th, the technician who informed me there was a 10% credit processing fee e-mailed back with the following lame excuse:

I missed the fact that it was in the first 30 day. here is the rest of your refund.

So I did eventually get a full refund and it only took three e-mails about the subject (after the initial cancelation) to do so. Ignoring that several of my messages on this trouble ticket referred to the fact I’d just signed up a few days before, and that one of my “where’s the rest of my refund” messages specifically spelled this out, I feel better knowing they didn’t get a single cent from me after this experience.

So, while I did eventually get all my money back, the effort required after such a complete failure still leaves me with an overall terrible impression of Mozy.

The Service

Mozy has since upgraded their client. They’ve likely upgraded their server infrastructure too (I can’t see how they’d have survived without doing so). I haven’t bothered checking to see if the issues I raised were addressed. Frankly, given what I saw at the time and the experience I had with their customer service department, I don’t care to give them a second look.

© 2011 Joshua NozziJoshua Nozzi is a Cocoa developer for hire.Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha