Just a Cat

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Dec 192011
 

Those who love and respect the special bonds we can form with animals – the bonds that show us that the term “people” is a bit too specific to a certain know-it-all species – can skip this. It’s not meant for you and won’t say anything you don’t already know. This is directed at those others.

Permit me to rant a moment. There are those who see our companion animals as things. Too stupid to know any better, to remember their past, to understand pain and loss. Then there are those who know better. Not because of some idiotic mystical nonsense, but because they’ve actually opened up their hearts and minds to a dog, a cat, or some other intelligent animal. That’s when they learned that, while no animals – a cat for example – are quite as smart as a human they’re damn sure not stupid. The smarter ones are … smarter. They remember things. They get sad and even vindictive. If you don’t think a cat can hold a grudge and then make a very clear point beyond “stupid animal” about it, you’re the one who is fooling yourself, not the cat owners.

The same goes for a dog. Hell even pig owners who’ve allowed a pig the same special place in their family as a cat or a dog can see an impressive amount of self-aware “person” in that creature. It’s a shame they’re so tasty I’m not a PETA member, I’m an omnivore, but I believe in treating all animals (even the ones we eat) with respect.

I address this post to those insensitive, vulgarly stupid assholes who close their eyes to reality and favor “conventional wisdom” – for whatever reason – about just what defines a “person” and whether a cat, dog, pig, horse, dolphin, chimpanzee, or whatever has a right to be treated, respected, and loved like a person.

For those of you who would tell me, in my current situation with a sick cat whom I’ve lived with and loved deeply for my entire adult life, that “she’s just a cat” and that I’m somehow being unreasonable with the depth of emotion I feel over her rapid decline and eventual loss, I have a few things to say to you.

First: Fuck you. Seriously.

Second: I feel very sorry for you (but still, fuck you) because you’re missing out on one of the most important lessons you can learn in this life.

Third: I never wish a beloved animal (*person*) in your life to die, but here’s what I do wish upon you: Against your will, a creature whose intelligence and personality you’ve dismissed, will worm his or her way into your heart. You’ll grow to truly recognize them for individual they are. Then you’ll be forced to be there for them when they age and eventually die. I hope that by this time your bond is so close, you wouldn’t dream of being impersonal … that you’d feel the responsibility toward your loved one that really is there – the deep-seeded need to be there for them, to make them comfortable, to worry over whether to let them go naturally or worse, to worry over when it’s time to end their lives for them.

In short: I wish you my fate. Not out of cruelty, but out of a hope that there’ll be one less hard-headed, closed-minded, soulless fuckwad out there because he or she went through a heart-breaking experience that taught them one fuck of a valuable lesson about love and commitment.

Even if it is “just a cat.”

Thanks for Ziplight

 Bartas Technologies, Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Oct 162011
 

Ziplight IconA rather nice e-mail arrived in my Inbox this morning from a gentleman who used my Ziplight Spotlight plugin well past its prime. “Chris” writes:

…I noticed you’re the ziplight developer, so I just wanted to thank you for it, and share my story; since I suspect I’m the only man who used Ziplight on Snow Leopard.

I was searching for a solution to tagging comic files (just renamed zips) without using spotlight comments, and then I thought of a slightly ghetto method using file names. So I took ziplight and swapped in the UTI I needed.

Since I was a late comer to Lion, that act got me an extra 2 years of life out of Ziplight.

It makes me happy to see someone still had a use for it well after it became unnecessary. Old apps and plugins so often fade quietly into history…

More Personal

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Oct 102011
 

I’ve been making a lot of personal posts lately. I have another. You might have noticed my presence online has been somewhat subdued lately. It’s no single reason; it’s a number of them altogether.

My sister lost her (very sweet) cat to cancer. My own cat had a lump that was removed – she’ll be fine (but she is an old lady and still has old lady issues). The problems didn’t stop at pets, though.

One of my sisters has been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She’s a mother of two in her thirties. It’s not mild but fortunately it’s not end-stage-severe. We’re all still reeling. Just a few months ago, her youngest daughter had a seizure . Looking back, it’d been going on awhile but this one was bad. She’s now on medication, probably until her adult years.

Another sister (mother of three) was very likely misdiagnosed with MS a few years ago but her latest doctor – who is angry at the previous “diagnosis” – is now thinking syringomyelia but a lot more testing is necessary. There are definitely cysts on her spine (thus the earlier diagnosis) and the kinds of problems that go with them. We’re still waiting to know more.

As if this wasn’t enough the sister I just mentioned has a fourteen-year-old son. He’d been having odd problems for quite some time now. I’ll skip the details, but it’s now confirmed: he has a form of lymphatic cancer. He’ll have a catheter inserted tomorrow so he can begin chemotherapy. At 14. Fortunately, this form has an 80% recovery chance (which I think is higher since he’s so young and it was caught so early).

But wait, there’s more. An uncle on my father’s side was just diagnosed with prostate cancer. It has progressed enough that it’s now in his bones. I don’t know much more than that.

A familiar problem we thought we’d solved popped up as well – Matt’s ongoing sleeping problems have resurfaced with a vengeance and it looks like it’s back to obstructive sleep apnea (for which he’d previously had a positive sleep study and painful operation to correct). We’re exploring next steps but for now, it’s back to the problems associated with lack of oxygen while sleeping many times per night.

How are we taking this all? Well, we’re all alternating between grieving and laughing together. It’s our way. I’m personally bouncing between optimistic and focused (throwing my energy into work) and depressed and crying. It’s a lot to deal with but that’s what’s going on with me right now.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers (just because I’m areligious doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the latter). A special thanks to those of you who’ve sent me words of support over the last few weeks as some of this came to light. Truly: thank you.

Steve

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Oct 052011
 

Back when I was a young, pimply geek, I trashed Apple like it was going out of style. Little did I know it would. Crapple. Crapintosh. MacIntrash. I’ve used them all. It wasn’t until 2000 (after falling in love with Linux) that I discovered a modern Unix with a unified UI. A Mac I liked. A Mac that ran Unix.

From that moment forward, I kicked my hobbyist-level programing dalliances into high gear to become, a decade later, a damn good Cocoa developer 100% devoted to the Apple ecosystem. 100% of my income is due to my Cocoa and Xcode knowledge and I’m much happier than I was as a network engineer – even as IT Manager.

Steve Jobs started something. Then he was booted out of it. It suffered. He came back. In less than 15 years, it rocketed to the top of many lists that matter. Steve’s leadership made my career and success possible. Would I have found it otherwise? Possibly – I’m a very driven person – but “possibly” didn’t happen. Steve and Apple did. So I am where I am now because of it.

Thanks, Steve, for positively affecting my life.

Love Meeeee!

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Oct 052011
 

My friend @tristanx pointed out an interesting, if random, blog post. He’s good at this. It was titled How I Botched A Budding E-Romance. It was a thoughtful admission of a regrettable mistake on the part of Stephanie (the author). I found it interesting enough I checked out another post on her home page: 12 Reasons Why It’s Time To Leave The Party And Go Home. It raised another introspective issue that struck home. I’d like your opinion about it.

As a thirty-something, I am really starting to enjoy the confidence that comes with learning my twenty-something self was overconfident. An odd paradox, to be sure. This is a normal state for one’s teens and twenties and nothing to be ashamed of. Not outgrowing it by forty … that’d be squarely into shame territory.

In Reason number 7, Stephanie writes:

You see an ex from a number of years ago. Despite the fact that you are now on good terms — friendly terms, even — the relationship ended somewhat badly, and you recognize that most of this is your fault. In your inebriated state, you apologize, profusely, for your past behavior. In your mind this amounts to a sort of self-deprecating wisdom, an acknowledgement of past wrongs and a mature desire to right them. In actuality it is the manifestation of the desire to have everyone like you, despite the fact that you have, undoubtedly, fucked some people over in your life. Additionally, approaching an ex in a state normally reserved for hitting on people and then invoking your relationship comes off like, well, hitting on them. They will probably also not want to remember how you fucked them over. They will have overcome this and constructed an idea of who you are w/r/t you fucking them over, and used this to move on. You are not helping yourself. It is time to go home.

The emphasis is mine and it’s what I want to discuss.

The older I get, the more willing I am to acknowledge stupid shit I’ve said or done to others in the past. In part, I suspect it’s easier to own up to because it’s more distant. I like to think, though, that it’s also maturity and recognizing that, even as a twenty-something adult, I view myself ten years ago as a kid with adult rights and still very little by way of a clue. I also realized in my late twenties that I have the same sort of social problems described by Asperger’s Syndrome, though I’ve not been diagnosed with this. I worked hard to learn to recognize those problems and work on them. I wish I could say I’ve eliminated them, but I haven’t – they’re still there and I’ll likely have to work at it all my life. But it’s getting easier with age. Introspection is getting easier with age.

So. Is the desire for atonement really a “manifestation of the desire to have everyone like you”? If yes, how much? Completely? Half and half? Just a little bit? More to the point, is that actually wrong? Of course ”normal people” desire that everyone likes them. They may acknowledge that it’s not a realistic desire in practice, but we’re hardwired social creatures by nature. Surely it’s not wrong to desire that everyone likes us, so long as we know it’s never going to happen. Isn’t that desire part of the mechanism that prompts (most of) us not to be sociopaths?

So what do you think? Ignoring that it’s a reason for leaving a party, is Stephanie’s (seeming) all-or-nothing label for the compulsion she describes mature introspection, or the oft-scorned desire for everyone to like you? Moreover, is the latter so black and white (and “bad” or “immature”) as people make it seem?

To Stephanie if you read this: You make good points, which is why I chose to read more. Please don’t think I’m singling you out or chastising. Also, please like me. ;-)

The iZON Wireless Video Camera

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions, User Experience
Sep 062011
 

Last week I saw a new “wireless video camera” product by a company called Stem Innovation, which promised a number of great features in an easy to use package. The iZON camera is meant to be remotely accessible via your favorite iOS device, giving you live audio and video, push notifications of any motion or noises it detects, etc. Despite its hefty US $130 tag I thought I’d give it a try and ordered one. It arrived today. Here’s my review. You can save yourself some time right now: The product almost completely fails to deliver and is a pain in the ass to un-package, set up, and use. If you want the gory details, read on.

Not That Kind of Remote Control

First, I’ll admit my own misunderstanding lead to some disappointment before the device even arrived. Based on the wording, the device’s iOS-app-controlled nature, the look of its lens, and of course the price tag, I had assumed a fully “remote controlled” camera. That is, a camera whose position you can control, letting you pan and perhaps zoom. Other (cheaper) products do this, albeit with web-hosted software. It turns out this is not the case. This camera swivels on a magnetic base. By hand. No remote-controlled panning. Damn. My mistake, I should’ve read more carefully (though the product site offers surprisingly little detail).

Wireless. Asterisk.

Second, their claim of “wireless” is outright false. The device requires a USB cable (with AC adaptor for wall sockets) for power. Only its data is sent wirelessly using your WiFi network. I had assumed it could be battery powered (and hoped for reasonable battery length). Nope. No battery option. It would have been nice to place the device up high in our main living space without a wire dangling down. Nicer still would be to have it last at least an overnight trip. Not the case. Requiring a wire for power is not wireless. This company is extraordinarily bad at communicating their product’s capabilities. Or they’re intentionally misleading customers.

Suspicious Package

The problems began the moment I opened the box. I began pulling the device (and its wireless wires) out and removing the twisty ties, additional wrappings, etc. The USB cable (two, actually; the second, short cable is of unknown intent) was “protectively wrapped” at both ends. I’m used to cast plastic caps or shrink-wrap cellophane sleeves. What I wasn’t expecting was cellphone tape directly applied to the cable ends. You read that right: the cable ends were very securely wrapped with plain old cellophane tape. Tape that had to be cut and pried with fingernails. Tape that did not come off in one piece. Tape that’s still partially stuck to both ends of each cable.

It’s a Setup

So I plugged in my wireless camera’s wire. Its light lit. I was at a loss as to what to do next. I dug around and found their tiny “Quick Start” guide. After the obligatory “plug in your wireless camera” steps, it informed me I had to download their app from the App Store. Oh, right. Makes sense. Maybe a brightly-colored reminder card on top of all that packaging somewhere would’ve reduced the WTF factor there, but fine. My mistake.

I looked up the app – Stem:Connect – and paused a moment in worry. At the time, there were 115 reviews and the app averaged 2 out of 5 stars. Uh oh. I installed and launched it. It crashed. I launched it again and followed its prompts through creating an account with Stem’s network. I did read that the camera depends on their service (worrisome, but I hoped there’d be an alternative in there somewhere – a hope that died today) so I wasn’t surprised. I waited a moment for their confirmation e-mail with my activation code and typed it into my iPhone.

The next step was to set up the device itself. This involved switching my iPhone to the device’s wireless network, entering my own network’s credentials, then switching the phone back. After a few false starts (the app wouldn’t connect to the camera for a full minute), I started to see the camera’s image updating.

Poor Performance

Were this a movie, I’d have demanded my money back in the first five minutes. While the five-second live video lag is understandable, the interface’s lag is not. Every UI action is delayed. Some delays make it feel like it’s about to crash.

Even less understandable is the user interface. Stem:Connect is apparently meant to be a one-stop shop for all of Stem’s products. As far as I can tell, there are two and they have nothing to do with one-another. Unless you own all of Stems products – and very shortly I will happily be back to owning none of them – much of the room taken up for navigation is wasted space. For someone who just wants to check up on their home, a dedicated app makes a lot of sense. As it currently exists, I have to launch the app, select the type of device (the camera), then select the device itself. Every time. Bewildering.

You cannot rotate the device to see the input in its proper aspect ratio, which means the video is much smaller than you’d expect, as it’s stuffed into “portrait” orientation. In the main living space of my home, things on the opposite side of the room are small and indistinct. Worse than that, the camera’s image quality is poor in lower light situations. A cheap US $20 USB web cam I found on Amazon looks positively beautiful in average room lighting conditions compared to the iZON.

Did You Feel That?

A few weeks ago, the East Coast was rocked by surprise earthquake. My house wobbled. A rather unexpected event for this region of the world. I don’t think the iZON would’ve noticed. Its motion detection requires a bit of setup (it’s not a simple “on” switch at first, though you wouldn’t know it from the UI). You turn the feature on then set up its sensitivity and “active area” (the area of the image you want to monitor). Although I turned on push notifications when the app (successfully) launched, and even verified it was allowed for Stem:Connect via the iPhone’s settings, but I could not get this to work.

I designated the whole damn image as the active area, set the sensitivity all the way up (and down, in case I misunderstood the direction) and acted a fool waving and moving around. No luck. I moved closer, moved further. I even waved my hand (quickly and slowly) directly in front of the lens, thinking that would surely count as motion.

Nothing.

Motion detection is the primary reason I want a remotely-accessible camera. I want to know if someone’s there. If they are, I want a picture of them. Or a video. Maybe even their voices (so the audio streaming is a nice touch). The iZON, however, doesn’t seem particularly motivated to give a damn.

Stop the Camera! I Wanna Get Off!

Too goddamn bad. There’s no off switch. There’s no “pause” switch. The only mode that’s truly wireless is its “off” mode because you have to yank the power cord to turn off the device. Otherwise, your house is under 24-hour video and audio surveillance (routed through Stem’s systems). Oh, and your bandwidth? Yeah, it’ll be using that too.

Conclusion

What an awful, ill-conceived, overpriced failure of a product launch. Seriously.

 

To the Fog!

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions, Tech Industry
Aug 222011
 

Given the cyclical nature of technological advancements, I feel a new phrase will need coining. We’ve seen the movement between terminal/mainframe to standalone, then back again (this time, called “thin clients”), then back again, then back again (this time, called “the Cloud”).

I predict a new technology that actually lets you store your own data on your own local network. Imagine! You keep your stuff in your own home or business! Fully Cloud-compatible (via backup and sync services), your stuff is still accessible without the Internet! What do I call this down-to-Earth Cloud-based technology? I shall call it … the Fog.

The Fog is an at-home or in-business successor to Cloud-based technology. It’s like a local area network … but with a better name.

Breaking News: Professional Services Cost Money

 Rants, Jokes, Opinions
Aug 152011
 

Folks: Not to sound like an arrogant prick or anything, but it may surprise you to learn I write code for a living. It may further surprise you to learn those who write code well for a living expect to be paid for it. While I volunteer some time and code here and there, one-on-one help is called consulting. If you’re neither family nor a very close friend, consulting will cost you money. Often not an unsubstantial amount. Should you contact me online and ask me to provide one-on-one help, please do not be surprised when I respond with my rate and request partial or full payment in advance.

In summary: I’m a coding whore, not a coding slut, thank you very much.

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© 2011 Joshua NozziJoshua Nozzi is a Cocoa developer for hire.Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha