Caleb Crain wrote an article about the use of “camel case” (MasterCard, iPhone, AnythingNotSeparatedWithSpaces) on the New York Times. His point: Camel case is evil and must be destroyed.
In other words, though camel case may have been spurred by recent technology, its effect is regressive — in fact, medieval.
Absurd.
It reeks of angry old man. That’s not a commentary on his age – I have no idea how old Caleb actually is – but rather on his tone. As I’m reading it, I imagine his voice thickening and tears welling up in his eyes Glenn-Beck-style as he watches “his language” ruined before his eyes.
“Things are changing!” he’d yell, shaking his fist. “I don’t like change. I’m scared! Where am I?”
“Mr. Crain,” I’d tell him, “it’ll be alright. EverSame isn’t a home, it’s a retirement getaway.”
“EverSame! That’s camel case too, isn’t it! Oh, God, it’s true!”
At this point I’d realize my error but it would be too late. I’d give an “okay” nod toward the orderlies, who would immediately swoop in, one holding Caleb down while the other jabs him with a syringe full of sedatives.
I’d watch him weaken and eventually slip into a fitful sleep. I’d cry a little. Then I’d remind myself it’s for the best.
I mean, he actually said he wouldn’t show an example of camel case directly as it would “disfigure” his prose. He made two points to which I take particular exception.
Camel Case is Regressive and Medieval
Come now, Old Man Crain. What must you think of contractions? You assert camel case is regressive to the point of being medieval because of the loss of spacing and, therefore, readability. You draw parallels between this and the vowelless ancient Greek language. Far more than word spacing is lost in a contraction. For example, can not becomes can’t. In case you hadn’t noticed, a space, a vowel, and a consonant are lost in that brutish abuse of the English language. The very thought must bring you to tears. You and this guy have a lot to discuss.
I eagerly await your next article, Contractions Are the Tools of the Cave Men.
It’s Our Language, Don’t Let it Change
Yes, Caleb. It is our language and we are the ones changing it. As with contractions, we develop shortcuts over time to eliminate needless tedium and increase the efficacy of our words. Some of them may seem scary (and even stupid) at first, but it’s quite common for some of those mutations to become the accepted norm. Just like contractions once did. The stupid ones live on a few decades at best, dying out with the generation that invented them. Survival of the most useful, as it were.
You see, Caleb, language is dynamic and alive. It lives and changes just as culture lives and changes. Old parts die off and new parts are added (either by invention or adoption). This is a good thing. It allows us to be more expressive in our modern era and to discuss new(ish) ideas fluently. The dead should not govern the living.
Do try and keep up.
