Software Developer · Usability Analyst

I am plagued by a problem. A usability problem. With my shampoo and conditioner bottles. Seriously.

I truly believe Dove (and some others) could benefit from a usability analyst. These bottles (particularly the shampoo bottle) bother me every damned day. Okay, I admit I use the volume-increasing variety and not the daily moisture therapy variety. Full disclosure and all.

First of all – and you can’t see this in the stolen image to the right – they have an oddly-shaped arch in them. They lean. This bulbous, curvaceous, leaning shape makes it rather difficult to grip in the shower … when there’s soap (like shampoo) and water involved.

Second, the cap on the shampoo bottle is fucking ridiculous to use. The amount of finger pressure you must exert into the little finger hole (complete with unpleasant plastic edge) is actually painful. It reminds me of being forced to put one’s finger in Opie’s mouth (Family Guy reference). Of course when it finally pops open, your hand is almost always scraped painfully against the rough underside of the cap.Trying to grab the whole top and bend it backward (to open it without the finger hole) is nearly impossible when the thing is wet. I’ve taken to banging the edge against the handle in the shower to knock it open. It’s the single-most retarded aspect of the entire design.

Third, again with the caps: Good soap / shampoo / conditioner / whatever product bottles let you stand them upright for long-term storage (presumably to prevent leakage) or on their caps so the product settles toward the cap for EZ-Squeeze goodness. The best ones have a nice wide, flat surface as the cap so the bottle is just as stable on its head.

My growing obsession with all-around usability has me noticing more and more usability failures in my life. Few of these failures are so bewildering as Dove’s damned shampoo / conditioner bottle set. They’re not the only ones, but Dove’s bottles are the perfect example of design stupidity. It leaves me to wonder: Do Dove’s bottle designers use Dove’s products? Do they shower at all?

For now, their shampoo bottle has a design only Adam Sandler could love … at a medium pace*.

* Warning: Hilariously-adult lyrics.